You name the diet and trend and I’ve dabbled in it. I have been going to the gym for years off and on. Up until this past year I was pretty steady with keeping my weight under control. I have always been an emotional eater though so my weight has fluctuated here and there over the years.
But then 2016 happened where one single event forever changed my life. On February 29th, 2016 I was assaulted in my home and everything around me suddenly became unsafe. I spent the rest of 2016 in a downward spiral and making poor decisions because I did not know how to cope with what had happened. I did everything possible to just numb myself so I did not have to deal with the terror I was feeling inside. I had no idea what PTSD was and the effects that it would have on my life. In less than a year I gained 30 pounds (and I’m only 5ft.3) and started living a very unhealthy lifestyle. To the outside world I may have seemed fine (Instagram post were colourful), but I was spiralling out of control and headed down a dangerous road. I did not know how to ask for help. I hated myself and felt very ugly inside. There was a lot of shame, guilt, disgust and uncertainty.
Dealing with PTSD almost destroyed me, last September I tried to take my life and by the Grace of God I was saved. It was at that very moment that I knew I was given a second chance and had to make some big changes. For 2 months I prayed a lot for something to come into my life to help me get back on track. At the final deadline I saw @bodybuildingcom @optimumnutrition #250KChallenge and took it as a sign that this was going to be the pivot I needed to regain my life back.
In order to make this huge transformation, I needed to find something that challenged me to the extreme – that completely purified my life to really make a new start. That’s when I decided to do my 12 week transformation Vegan. I decided to hire my coach @samshorkey and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Not only was her plan amazing, but her style of training really took me to a whole new fitness level. I was doing cardio sessions like a beast, fuelling my body through nutrition and the recovery…… well all I can say is it was phenomenal.
For years I had people tell me that I could not build muscle on a plant based lifestyle, well I sure did prove them wrong…….. I have never in my life had more strength, power and muscle then I do today. Being Vegan does a body good! I am so proud of the transformation I accomplished on the outside, but what blows me away is the internal transformation on my mind and spirit.
Starting this competition I was completely broken, lost and not in a good place. Most of the people in my life didn’t really know the magnitude of my sadness and emptiness. What I learned in these last 12 weeks and the self love that I now have, well that is the biggest prize of it all. If you had told me 12 weeks ago how I would be feeling today, I don’t think I would have believed you.
The support from the community has been absolutely beautiful. I have had people (especially women) open up and share their struggles and thank me for being so vulnerable and honest. To know that I have made even the slightest impact in someones life for doing this challenge and sharing what I have gone through, that is something that I am forever grateful for. I am so thankful for this amazing community that I have become a part of through Body Building com. I plan to continue to share my story in hopes of helping others overcome their own personal struggles.
Sometimes you need others to help life you up and show you some light till you can stand strong on your own and believe you are so worth it. I plan to pay it forward and make it my life’s mission to help others at “Being Their Best Self”.
“The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
With a grateful heart and much love,